MANAGED SLAPSTICK

I was watching a news report on MSNBC and the anchor female was interviewing a dame who had just given American Airlines her two cents worth after she received some sort of phony award she said. You should’ve seen it. The anchor didn’t interrupt near enough. I mean if you’re going to do it why not go hog wild. But she interrupted, surely, blabbing and cutting in. She kept telling the stewardess dame how much time she had left, like will you hurry the crap up we’ve got 10 seconds.

If you want fun watch breathless anchors juggle an interview. That’s entertainment. The interviewee wants to finish her most important thought and the anchor hacks her off. But the ploy that shows you’re a complete STAY LOOSE broadcast leader is to just keep on interrupting. Why stop? After all we’re not going to hear a complete thought anyway so why not lets just accept it.

News programs are actually underplayed slapstick. The anchorwomen are continually over-stressing their exact diction like they are in some sort of stage play and shouting at the audience. Why don’t they mouth their words even more you would think. Don’t do it halfway. If they’re going to do it, do it. Show us some leadership why don’t they and go hair-brained overboard. Remember if they take interrupting others to the max it’s a true exercise in headship because how many would think that could ever be leadership. That’s what STAY LOOSE leadership is. It’s taking something—anything, and going to the uttermost max with it. Do it with this and you’re a STAY LOOSE type as you lead doing stupid stuff.

Creep

When I thought of how misnamed a plate of entrails is to be called lunch I was reminded of when I heard a news report the other day on Fox and the lady doing it was referring to a man caught with bomb parts getting on a plane, as a gentleman. Was she kidding us? Since when is a people blower-upper considered as gentle in his ways. Or how about anyone who tries to scare people with what he’s got in his satchel. Can a hooker be considered a lady? Can a male pimp be termed Sir. You wonder about that. I suppose a whore who has just given it all up thirty seconds before coming into your purview could be now in this precise instant regarded as a lady, since she’s no longer a whore.

I don’t know about using “gentleman” for someone who is a creep. You would think if you could STAY LOOSE in this scenario you would go right ahead and tell it like it is. The use of leadership in these situations calls for the brutal truth. A terrorist is a creep.

I wouldn’t doubt that when the entertainers go to the prisons they walk up to the mike and say gentleman it’s nice to be here tonight and we’re going to give you a great show etc. I suppose that would be a gentlemanly crowd. Or not. I’m thinking couldn’t the journalist in her report to anchor lady Harris Faulkner on Fox have said that the police took a creep into custody today for trying to get on a plane with bomb parts. Would that have conveyed the news. Could people envision a creep with a bag with bomb stuff in it. We certainly could since that’s what a creep has been known to do.

YUM YUM BIRD GUTS

California Gibb has this striking good looking cousin and she sent him an email and said let’s do lunch and he thought well crap you know about noon time I get pretty hungry if I’ve been practicing my dancing in front of a full length wall mirror all morning and there’s this foreign food buffet that would hit the spot if you can stand it. Because she likes boiled bird entrails and red peppers and I don’t know whether they’re from a Great Hoary Bustard or a common Snow Goose and this could very well be what is meant by lunch. Is this lunch? You can go but will it be worth it to go.

Maybe not. But maybe it would. It could be worth it to go and have some lunch because she’s pretty good looking and then just wait and see how long it’ll be until you up and barf on the floor. That could be worth it because people are going to laugh and some will get sick and they’ll be waiting to see who slips on it.

That’s what would make the whole thing a STAY LOOSE caper. You have to relax in an atmosphere of bird guts. Maybe it’s Ruddy Duck. It’s leadership if you can clean your plate after and be grateful. That’s leadership. Being thankful that is. You have to lead because by hanging back you’ll never go anywhere and boiled entrails or not, here you can get together with a cousin you haven’t seen in a long time and talk about family. There’s good in this and it has to do with leading out. Think. You could be eating with Gwen Stefani and if she insisted that you clean up your plate you’d be hard pressed to stomach it but you’d do it because she’s popular. But the adventure in it would be there. You’d be thinking let’s see how long I can go with this steamy entrails plate without losing it.

TIME SPENT AT THE DANCE

California Gibb found out that the time spent dancing does not detract from the rest of a man’s life. He discovered that actually you don’t have to know how to dance as long as you STAY LOOSE. If you can stay loose you’ll show some good leadership. Here’s how. The dance takes hardly any time. A few hours at a dance per week and that’s about it. If you’re good at it then guess what? You’ll impress the ladies and they’ll gravitate to you. If you can’t dance so what? Well then it would be important to sit down beside various ones and shut up until they get so frustrated they start talking to you. If it was Marie Osmond sitting beside you she’d probably ask you to dance and show you how as long as you don’t try to prove anything. That’s how you meet a lot of ladies.

But even if you can dance, just shut up. If you can’t dance, why of course, shut up. And why would that be? Because the ladies are sooo impressed by men who listen. Is this hard? It is for some people who can’t seem to control running off at the mouth.

Consider this. You can’t talk much at a dance anyway since the music at most places is near to deafening. So plan to smile, squint, wrinkle your face, shrug your shoulders and nod your head instead of saying anything amidst a din of blaring music. Live with it and you’ll be what a woman really wants: A listener who doesn’t have to say anything and therefore can be counted on to not tell too many lies.

Ladies just in case you’re wondering, this all applies to you too since this is a general principle in action at the dance. For example the above paragraph would read…because the men are sooo impressed by ladies who listen….

McCain's VP Mate

We’ve touched on this before. It’s the SANDWICH PROTOCOL OF ACTIVE MANAGEMENT or SPAM. It’s critical to leadership and it’s important for staying loose in a proper way. What you do is treat the coming selection for VP in a sandwich manner. In other words you know precisely whom you will select. That’s the bread. The inside of the sandwich is not having a clue who you’re going to ask. Let’s say you choose Oprah Winfrey in a month or so. From that it would appear that you knew what you were doing. But then you change your mind in five or six days and choose Condoleeza Rice instead. You would appear uncertain for a period of time but then folks would settle down. That would be the middle of the sandwich—not knowing. But then it’s back to Oprah, and back to Rice. People would say to McCain how come you’re doing this? All he has to say is that he’s changed his mind as in “I don’t feel good about this.” And then do that four or five times. He can do it. He’s the nominee.

Remember, to make a good sandwich you’ve got to have a measure of knowing and then a dash of not having a clue. Changing back and forth gives you this aura. People love it. It’s entertaining, like seeing a tennis ball go back and forth, back and forth. People love uncertainty. It’s like a circus. It also gets the whole country going nuts thinking, hey this McCain is after a woman. ‘And a black babe besides. But then they don’t really know because he’s so undecided. But it all works for his good since in this uncertain yet certain going back and forth folks come to see him as making some pretty sure and unsure decisions slapped right next to each other as in SPAM.

In other words he knows but yet he doesn’t know and yet the subjects of his choosing are the right kinds of people that will bring him the presidency. Who’ll argue about Oprah? No one. Or Rice. No one again. Rice can beat anyone Hillary could throw at McCain and Oprah too would slip into office no matter who Obama had. Even if Oprah hasn’t given the Vice Presidency one bit of thought, she could do it. We know Rice can. But Oprah could too. McCain and either Oprah or Condoleeza could beat the heck out of any combo of Obama and Clinton, merely by McCain showing a huge element of uncertainty on the outside with a nice filling of certainty on the inside. ‘Want a sandwich?